But It Is Educational!

Sending me out to buy toys is like sending Jack to sell the cow in Jack and the Beanstalk. Where one would expect Jack/me to come back with food- in this case a wholesome and educational toy for Scout (below):
(Standard German made educational toy, 1" plain cube, $45.99)

I instead return with the equivalent of a handful of magic beans:
(Loud hair-dryer powered ADD inducing mania machine that shoots plastic balls out its top accompanied by clown music- the Gypsy Rose Lee of toys)
I swear to god it is educational in some sense, somehow.